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| SHOW REPORTS |
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| August 16, 2008
1 -- SHANK “The Freak” BARZINI (with Solomon King) vs. J. P. LIGHTENING JIP as Barzini splatted on the concrete floor on a psychotic moonsault off the apron. Lightening hit a slingshot senton and followed with a baseball slide dropkick to the head. Barzini grabbed the ropes at two. On commentary, Jason James and Tyler Clemens talked about the sadistic beating Gary Valiant took from Tim Renesto and company last week. Barzini drove Lightening’s head into the mat with a flying knee. Rather than going for the pin, Barzini sat on the mat and did some autistic rocking. Barzini went up for a moonsault, but Lightening crotched him, and delivered a top rope double stomp with Barzini hung in the tree of woe. Good grief. That brought Solomon King up on the apron with his briefcase. In the ensuing struggle, the briefcase kinda, sorta fell on the head of referee Jamie Ferrari. Barzini bashed Lightening with the briefcase for the 1-2-3. WINNER: Barzini in 3:27 of TV time. Some crazy stuff. Barzini is proving to be one twisted bastard with the sick punishment he’s willing to take. The briefcase to the head of Ferrari looed bad, so they did these killer spots and ruined it with a half-assed looking finish. They ran the ad for the Fairgrounds show the following Tuesday listing Valiant & Steve-O vs. Lonestar & Renesto, Ali Stevens (c) vs. Snake for the heavyweight title, and a Barzini/Lightening rematch. Promo by Solomon King with Freak, whose head was covered by a towel. The King was serving notice on the NWA: the Freak had been unleashed and they were coming after everybody. Freak started hitting himself in the head with Solomon’s briefcase. Lightening promo. He said he lost on a cheap shot. “Next week, I don’t care what I have to do. I’m going to win.” 2 -- LONESTAR (with Miss Penelope) vs. RYAN STONE JIP with the massive Lonestar beating the hell out of Stone. Penelope got her licks in. Stone finally got Lonestar off his feet for a one count only. Lonestar then did this dramatic, delayed bump on a sunset flip, but Penelope had the ref distracted. Clemens counted the visual fall. Lonestar wasted no time going to his sitout slam finisher. WINNER: Lonestar with the Michinoku Driver in 3:35 of TV time. I liked this Lonestar match much better than the one last week. He didn’t look blown up, and he walked the fine line - never compromising his role as this huge, bad ass heel, but selling if the other guy earns it. 3 – ERIC WAYNE & KID NICKELS vs. GREG KING JR. & BRYAN CASEY The commentators gushed about the return of George Gulas last week to strip Wayne of the Mid-America X Division Title. James said it served him right for his “apprehensible” actions against King. The heels took major liberties with Casey, the rookie former Marine who never got a tag. King got exactly one forearm shot in on Wayne, and that was it. On the other hand, I don’t think the heels made a legal tag in the match. James said the apple fell way far from the tree where Eric and father “Nightmare” Ken Wayne were concerned. Casey kicked out of a highly “modified” Hart Attack. As ref Jerry Ryman admonished a flustrated King, Wayne illegally came off the top rope and Nickels covered for the pin. WINNER: Wayne & Nickels in 5:46 of TV time when Wayne pinned Casey. I loved the match –a simple well-told story. Wayne & Nickels make a sweet team. What a couple of dicks. 4 – Mid-America Television Title Match: Champion “Magnum” SHANE SMALLS vs. “Playboy” SCOTT HAYES JIP with Small in the process of immobilizing Hayes by picking apart his knee. Smalls had Hayes screaming with a lengthy figure four leglock. Hayes finally got a ropes break. Hayes got a sunset flip. Smalls took him down with a dragon screw and tried for another figure four, but Hayes reversed to an inside cradle. Hayes applied the figure four, forcing Smalls to the ropes. Smalls positioned Hayes for a superplex. Hayes fought it off and went for a tornado DDT, but Smalls slipped away. Hayes charged and ate the 357 (boot) IN YOUR FACE. Smalls used the ropes to get the pin. WINNER: Shane Smalls with the 357 retain the TV title in 4:56 of TV time. There are times when psychology is in short supply in NWAME, but this match had it. 5 – “New Age Assassin” TIM RENESTO vs. MISS BOOGIE’S SURPISE (with Miss Boogie) Miss Boogie introduced the masked Ying Yang as her surprise. James was shocked it wasn’t Boogie. Clemens said his heart sunk at the realization that Boogie’s career may be over. They cut to a commercial for Boogie’s live appearance at Hollywood Video a mere three hours later. The deal was Renesto could have beaten Yang any time he wanted to. The announcers were scratching their heads about Miss Boogie’s choice. Renesto kept hitting big moves and pulling Yang up, as a car horn kept blaring in the background. A yellow pick up truck drove into the building with Valiant at the wheel. Valiant sprinted into the ring and pounded lumps on Renesto, The announcers went nuts. Mark Owens called for the bell. WINNER: Renesto presumably by DQ in 3:45 of TV time. It was just there to set up the angle. The announce team did a terrific job here. Lonestar and Jeff Daniels hit the ring and beat Boogie down. The heels tied Valiant’s arms behind his back with duct tape. Lonestar off loaded Valiant into the bed of the truck, climbed into the back, and continued to beat on Boogie. With Daniels directing traffic and Renesto at the wheel, they took off out of the Mecca, destination unknown. 6 – Last Man Standing Match: SNAKE JONES (with Charmin Charles & Little Booger) vs. NWA Mid-America Heavyweight Champion ALI STEVENS James said police cruisers were on the look out for Valiant’s truck. Stevens hit a pair of Dogcatcher Splashes. Snake sat up just before the 10 count. Charles and Booger got in the ring. Stevens gave them a meeting of the minds. Clemens said it wasn’t much of a meeting. I think he was referencing their empty minds, but that was one wimpy looking collision. Snake slapped on the cobra clutch. Just as Stevens was going into la la land, he used a low blow to break Snake’s grip. Charles and Booger wrapped a chain around Stevens’ neck and applied the pressure for the 10 count. Owen saw nothing. Charles celebrated with this weird ass little jig. WINNER: Snake in 3 minutes of TV time. This was ugly, but all of their matches have been like that. Stevens called in to the August 25 edition of Jerkin the Curtain and stated that his hip was OK, and he was selling the effects of long, grueling matches with Jones. If that’s the case, Stevens is Hall of Fame level when it comes to selling. Charles postmatch dance was one of the highlights of the show. Commissioner Gordon said he had not been able to make contact with Valiant. His whereabouts remained a mystery. Hey Gordon, you might want to check at Hollywood Video. Gordon said he had gone to the Board and vowed that something would be done about Daniels and his crew. 7 --Steel Cage Match: STEVE-O vs. JEFF “The Crippler” DANIELS JIP with both men bleeding, so the footage was in black and white. Escape rules. Daniels used a low blow and went for the door. Steve slammed the door on Daniels’ head. Steve wailed away on Daniels. “Got some spaghetti legs, where’s the Parmesan? Daniels doesn’t know where he is,” said Clemens. Daniels mule kicked Steve low. A diving headbutt to the groin left Steve writhing in agony. Daniels headed for the door, but Steve managed to slam it on his head again. Steve nailed Daniels with a superkick and crawled to the door. Daniels grabbed Steve by the tights but was unable to prevent the inevitable. WINNER: Steve-O in 4:15 of TV time. What aired was fine, but it wasn’t enough to do justice to the blow off of this feud. Promo by Steve-O. He said Daniels brought something out he didn’t know he had inside him. Steve said he was setting his sights on Daniels’ crew and winning titles. Daniels promo. Daniels said he had done his job with Steve-O, and said it with conviction. It was never about wins and losses, it was about respect, and he got it. Daniels claimed his guys had dumped Valiant in a river, but he admitted that Valiant had a habit of always crawling back. Daniels said running him off the road in 2000 and crippling him was just the beginning. If Valiant crawled back this time, Daniels would end his career, and it could happen anywhere. ”I don’t care where ya at, Gary. I don’t care if you’re at church. You hear me? I don’t care if you’re at church. I’ll come in there. I’ll slap the preacher *whack* and drag your carcass outside. Because it’s me and you, Gary, and it’s going to end. It’s going to end. You better grow eyes in the back of your head, cuz The Crippler is coming.” Closing Thoughts: This show had some memorable moments. Few of them came from the wrestling. What comes to mind are the kidnapping, Daniels’ promo and Charles dancing. With the exception of the Renesto match, which was really just a prologue to the angle, everything was JIP…Daniels’ explaining his way out of the showdown loss to Steve-O was amazing. And as much as I hate to admit it, I like Steve-O a lot more coming out of this feud than I did when it started…The focus on Daniels/Valiant makes total sense, and the kidnapping was a great angle, but the logic was non-existent. The commissioner is clueless about Valiant’s status, but he’s advertised for a public appearance the same day and the next show at the Fairgrounds He comes back from a near-death beating in seven days, and now he’s going to do the same after being kidnapped and dumped in a river? What’s the rush? Can they not afford for Valiant to miss a show?... “Colorado Kid” Mike Rapada was the victim in a similar angle at the Fairgrounds about 10 years ago…Jones/Stevens is a perversely entertaining feud that is doing nothing for the stature of the Heavyweight Title…I was surprised the cage match aired. If the concept is using the TV show to sell tickets, then the grand finale of the feud is a match to advertise as non-television…I like the bump they’re giving Smalls with the TV Title and the big finishing move…Of the undercard guys, I’m digging Barzini for pure insanity (there's a void to be filled without Anthony), and Wayne & Nickels for their old style heel energy. The King/Wayne program has turned out to be a great story. |