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October 4, 2008
â€“ Larry Goodman
Attorney Destro Xavier was in turn interrupted by the members of Hot Like Lava. Micah Taylor first did an imitation of Dr. Johnny Gayton.
Jones entered the frame holding a stethoscope over his eye like a monocle. â€œIâ€™m Dr. Gayton, too. I work on eyeballs.â€� Shaun
Banks passed through looking for The House of Pain. All three members of HLL surrounded Xavier. Taylor said they were going to own
everything Gayton had. â€œAnd those fruit booty tights you lift weights in. Weâ€™re going to get those, too,â€� Jones said.
RPW Championship Qualifying Match: (1) -- CRU JONES vs. MICAH TAYLOR
Xavier claimed to be an innocent victim of Gaytonâ€™s physical attack last week. All he did was serve the good doctor with a subpoena.
Xavier said he had gotten a restraining order, and the match wasnâ€™t happening. Enter TV announcer Katie Mayo. She said the match
would take place, and Gayton would have the order lifted by next week.
Dan Masters, Sal Rinauro and Mayo on commentary. The two members or HLL toyed with Referee Koonce and refused to get serious.
Rinauro instigated what became a running gag about not being able to trust a guy (Koonce) wearing white shoes. Rinauro said they
knew the counters to the counter to the counters. They conjectured about the identity of the masked man that cost Lava their match last
week. Rinauro said he knew for sure it was Gayton. Masters said the only name he had heard was Thunderbolt Patterson. Katie, as
usual, was clueless. Things started looking more serious, with Jones teasing a powerbomb to the floor. Back inside, they traded forearm
shots. Jones teased a moonsault before gently covering Taylor. They went back and forth with pin attempts ending with a double pin.
Shaun Banks gave â€œDan Michaelsâ€� his expert opinion and declared both men winners. It was left up in the air as to who would
advance in the title tournament.
WINNERS: Taylor and Jones in 10 minutes. I liked it as a story concept, but it wore thin at that length. Rinauroâ€™s color commentary
was the most interesting thing about the match.
2 â€“ VORDELL WALKER (with Ace Diamond) vs. LANCE CHRISTIAN
Walker did prematch mic work stating he was using Jason Crossâ€™ finisher because he was a nobody. â€œYouâ€™re done.â€�
Walker dared Jason to show his face and claimed he was the better man. Walker was slurring his words here.
Masters explained that Cross was out due to an injury at the present time. Walker hit a trio of DEEP armdrags. Christian answered with
kick to the temple and put Walker and Diamond on the multi-colored carpet at Johnny Gâ€™s with a slingshot crossbody. Christian sent
Walker into the post and got his hands on Diamond, but decided to let him go. Back inside, Christian crashed into the turnbuckles when
Walker moved. Diamond jumped up with an eye rake, and Walker followed with a back suplex to start the heat. Walker sent Christian out
of the ring with a field goal kick to the kidneys. [Commercial break] Walker worked Christian over at ringside. Back inside, Christian got a
near fall with a flying crucifix maneuvered into a sunset flip, a cool move that he didnâ€™t quite pull off. Walker took a flying crotch bump
on the ropes. Christian hit his sit spin leg drop, but Walker kicked out. Walker snapped off a powerslam for a near fall, went up top and
missed. Both men stayed on the canvas for an eight count. Christian then missed with a guillotine leg drop, and Walker moved in for the
kill with a brainbuster ala Cross.
WINNER: Walker with his version of THE BEST DAMN BRAINBUSTER IN NORTH AMERICA at 12:12. Solid match between two good
Back from commercial, Walker hit a second brainbuster on Christian, and Diamond forced referee Dustin Robinson to make another
three count. Walker was about to apply the Crippler Crossface, when Cross hit the ring with a baseball bat. Walker powerdered out.
Frankie Valentine entered the ring and clubbed Cross from behind. Not much impact there, as Cross laid Valentine out with THE BEST
DAMN BRAINBUSTER IN NORTH AMERICA. Cross said he wanted Walker. Diamond told Cross he would have to go through Kodiak first.
Katie Mayo caught up with Cross to ask him how felt about the match with Kodiak. Cross said the Diamond Mine was crap. Cross said
he would do whatever it takes to get to Walker.
Mayo interviewed Tracy Taylor, who said she was honored to be part of RPWâ€™s first womanâ€™s match. Taylor said she was there to
shake things up and bumped booties with Katie.
Cut to Mayoâ€™s interview with Daffney. She too, was honored to be a part of the match, but she unimpressed by Taylorâ€™s Hula
dancing. â€�Itâ€™s not about shaking your hips. Itâ€™s about fighting, and Iâ€™m going to bring it to the ring.â€�
3 â€“ DAFFNEY vs. TRACY TAYLOR
Taylor heated up an already hot building with her Hula dancing. Sweet. Sal said getting to check the women for foreign objects made this
the greatest day of referee Koonceâ€™s young life. Jones came out to ogle at the announcerâ€™s table. Daffney blocked a hiptoss, so
Taylor switched to a Russian legsweep for a near fall. Taylor used a monkey flip, but Daffney came back with a spinkick to the mush.
Daffney dropped an elbow for two. Daffney got another near fall with a running booty attack. Daffney went for a body slam, but Taylor
hooked her with a rolling cradle. Daffney applied an entanglement submission. Rinauro said it was the Accordion Special invented by
Johnny Saint. Masters brought up Daffney's escapades in WCW. Daffney got a single leg crab, but Taylor made the ropes. They swapped
stiff chops with Taylor really starting to tee off. Taylor did a slide through the ropes enzuigiri ala Tony Santarelli, then a flying body press
for a near fall. That spot looked rough. Daffney blocked a monkey flip and pinned Taylor with her feet on the ropes.
WINNER: Daffney in 8 minutes. Being a mark for both of these women, I have no complaints. It was as good as most of the womenâ€™s
stuff on WWE and TNA.
Analysis/Random Thoughts: This episode was more cohesive than episodes 3 and 4. The wrestling end is the least of their worries.
Theyâ€™ve cooking up interesting stories, the issue is presenting them in an effective manner for television. Things need more
explaining -spell out why the fans should care. A recap/preview segment after the opening vignette would have made a nice bridge to the
body of the show. The final segment had a flat, abrupt ending that badly called for some type of closure. Putting the womenâ€™s match
in the main event was puzzling. It was a first for RPW and a nice match, but it didnâ€™t figure in the big picture. Either of the other
matches would have fit better in that positionâ€¦Walkerâ€™s promo was disconcerting. Heâ€™s a talented guy that has been known to
burn a few bridges. I sincerely hope he keeps his shit togetherâ€¦ The postmatch stuff between Diamond Mine and Cross worked quite
well...Jones was hilarious on the opening vignetteâ€¦Destro Xavier is an awesomely name character. Now, if he could just learn how to
express himself on cameraâ€¦Masters and Rinauro showed potential as an announce team. Mayo on the other handâ€¦